In My Uncertainty
by dyo
Summary: The rooster can think! And the fox can blush! The tables are turned, no more mr. stupid rooster...


In My Uncertainty  
  
Sano and Megumi Fic   
  
by dyosa :)  
  
***  
  
In My Uncertainty  
  
Unknown  
  
I choose to love you in my silence  
  
For in my silence, I find no rejection  
  
I choose to adore you in my loneliness  
  
For there, nobody owns you but I  
  
I choose to admire you from a distance  
  
For the distance shields me from pain  
  
I choose to kiss you in the wind  
  
For the wind is gentler than my lips  
  
I choose to imprison you in my thoughts  
  
For in my thoughts I can set you free  
  
I choose to love you in my dreams  
  
For in my dreams, there is no end.  
  
******  
  
Standard disclaimers apply. On the characters as well as the poem :)  
  
******  
  
/Hmph, there she goes again./ Sanosuke Sagara smirked while standing   
  
amidst the crowded marketplace with his hands in his pockets.  
  
To whom he's referring to? Ah, the Fox Lady. Megumi Takani was just   
  
pouting away from him, another result of one of their never ending taunts   
  
and arguments.  
  
As the rooster--er--gangster watched the lady doctor getting farther away  
  
from him by the minute, being covered once in a while by the ever growing   
  
customers in the busy street, his sneer-painted face slowly melted into a   
  
sadden, but yearning, look. I guess our big man is soft hearted, too, eh?  
  
And again, memories from weeks ago came crashing to his visions   
  
once more...   
  
Megumi tending Kenshin's wounds on his back...  
  
Softly spoken words that are blown by the winds...  
  
Ungraspable, yet intimate...  
  
Then, slowly, she rests her forehead on Kenshin's back...  
  
He was watching them from their farther left side, therefore not   
  
being able to see their faces. But, yet, this little action provoked a burning  
  
jealousy and an unknown pain piercing him deep in his chest.   
  
He stumbled onto them like that, but after then, he never showed these   
  
feelings to anybody for a very long time. Even to Kaoru who found him   
  
standing unmoving by the doorway. He didn't want to confront Kenshin   
  
about it because he's his friend, and that because he knew undoubtedly   
  
that the only woman Kenshin would ever want was Kaoru. Not to Megumi,   
  
because it would only start another heated argument between them.   
  
Lastly, it would only sound foolish.  
  
But it seems his pained feelings kept gnawing him inside.   
  
He then tore his gaze away, walking to the opposite direction, carrying his   
  
heavy feet though not knowing where to go, just not to that *other*   
  
direction.  
  
/Why am I feeling like this? Why to her, of all people?!?/ the tough   
  
man thought frustratedly. Well, like God, love works in mysterious ways.  
  
It just so happens that our guy here was struck by lightning on   
  
the very moment she entered that gambling room and pleaded for their  
  
help.   
  
/Okay, she's got the hair, the face, and definitely the body,/   
  
Sanosuke contemplated,/but it's just not it! /  
  
"What the hell does she have that's so damn irresistible?!?" he whispered to   
  
himself hoarsely, raking his dark brown hair infuriatingly.  
  
A faint call that became louder from behind suddenly distracted his   
  
speculations.  
  
"Hey Sano, where are you going?" Yahiko called, as he ran after him on the   
  
street.  
  
"Huh? Well, I--" Sano stuttered.  
  
"Well, aren't you coming with us for lunch in the Akabeko?" Yahiko asked   
  
impatiently.  
  
"Well..." Sano started, for the first time feeling a bit hesitant if he should join them on having lunch, free of charge.  
  
"Come on, we don't have all day! Besides, I'm starving already!" Yahiko   
  
exclaimed as he pulled the tall lad by the sleeve.  
  
During lunch, Sano was still thinking about the same woman since that   
  
morning. He wasn't paying much attention to his free food, just slowly   
  
nibbling and eating less than before, with a much lesser enthusiasm.   
  
/Well, there's nothing much appealing to her personality though. I know   
  
she's a potential suicidal woman.../ then contemplated a bit more, /But I   
  
guess after Kenshin convinced her that instead of taking her life, she might   
  
as well continue using her talent by helping other people. In that way she   
  
can atone for her wrongs. I can't deny the fact that she's devoting   
  
herself into it, and she's doing really good.../  
  
"Hey Sano, are you feeling ill or something?" Kaoru asked in a concerned   
  
tone.  
  
"Huh? Uh, no. No prob, Jou-chan." He replied, though the girl was not that   
  
convinced with his detached tone of voice.  
  
"Well, how come you haven't even finished your food? Your bowl is still half-  
  
full." Yahiko asked, eyeing him suspiciously.  
  
"Yes, Sano. It seems that something's troubling you very badly." Kenshin   
  
added in.  
  
"No, no! I'm alright, really!" Sano exclaimed, scratching the back his head   
  
and laughing foolishly.  
  
"No, I don't think so. I think you need a visit to Dr. Genzi's clinic." Kaoru   
  
said in an authoritative voice.  
  
"Wha--?" Sano was cut off when three pairs of arms suddenly pulled him   
  
outside the restaurant and into the street.  
  
/Ah, man! It means I have to see the fox then./ Sano panicked, though   
  
the thought of seeing Megumi thrilled him.   
  
/But then, it means I'll have to argue with her again. Why does it have to   
  
be like that when we meet? I can barely remember any conversation we   
  
had that is civilized. I guess that's the way we are. But I just wish for once not to argue with her and see what it's like. But then again, I'll just have  
  
to keep dreaming./ he thought ruefully.  
  
"C'mon, guys! I said I'm okay, aw'right!?" Sano exclaimed desperately, not   
  
being able to let go from the vice grips of Yahiko and Kaoru, and also   
  
taking notice of Kenshin's left hand lightly resting on his sakabatou.   
  
"Don't worry Sano. Once we get to the clinic, you'll be alright." Kenshin   
  
chided lightheartedly.  
  
At this point, our little gangster seemed to have no escape.  
  
"Ken-nii!!!" squealed the two children, Ayame and Suzume, from   
  
the clinic's doorway.  
  
"Hello, girls, where's your jiya?" Kenshin greeted cheerfully as he   
  
hunched down to their small height.  
  
"I'm sorry, but Dr. Genzai's not here right now, Ken-san. What can I   
  
do for you?" Megumi suddenly replied courteously coming from another room.  
  
Sano wasn't looking inside the room and kept staring stubbornly   
  
outside the doorway with his hands shoved in his pockets, though his arms   
  
where still hooked into Kaoru's and Yahiko's. But he's badly aware of the   
  
lady doctor's presence once she entered the room. When he heard her   
  
voice, he tried so hard to ignore it but was somehow mesmerized by her   
  
refined tone and could not resist to at least turn his eyes slightly to her  
  
without turning his head.  
  
"Well, Sano here looks ill and we're beginning to worry. Can you   
  
check him up?" Kenshin asked.  
  
"Why? Did he lose into another gamble again?" Megumi taunted,   
  
looking speculatively at Sano.  
  
/No, fox. I won't give in to your bait coz I'm not in the mood./   
  
Sano said to himself indignantly, not replying to her taunt.   
  
"Well, it seems he's not eating very well during our lunch in the   
  
Akabeko, that's what I've observed." Kaoru implored.  
  
"Yeah, but if it's Kaoru's cooking, it's understandable." Yahiko  
  
jeered.  
  
"Why you--" Kaoru started, then grabbed the moment by hitting   
  
Yahiko on the head.  
  
/Well, he's silent today. Wonder what's going on?/ Megumi   
  
raised her brow slightly.  
  
After a pause, Megumi then motioned Sano into the other room.  
  
"I'll check him up, why don't you make yourselves comfortable  
  
here?" Megumi asked.  
  
"Thanks, Megumi." Kaoru replied, returning her attention to the   
  
doctor, while leaving Yahiko as he tended on his sore lump on the head.  
  
"Ken-nii! Let's play!" the two children cheered on.  
  
"First, let me check your hand." Megumi said, as both of them sat   
  
on the matted floor facing each other.  
  
Sano reached out with his right hand without looking at her and   
  
was gently inspected by Megumi. After feeling if ever there were still   
  
broken bones on any part of his hand, she started to remove the worn out   
  
bandages. There were a few old healing bruises, the result of the fight in   
  
Shishio's stronghold that were much worse compared to those he attained   
  
from his smaller fights before. Shishio really made a mess with his right   
  
hand, leaving him inept to use it for some weeks, much less to fight. But   
  
the old wounds were slowly disappearing, though she noticed a fresh   
  
swelling around his knuckles.   
  
Megumi sighed, making Sano's head turn to her inquisitively.   
  
"Sano, didn't I tell you not to engage into any fights yet? Your   
  
hand is already healing steadily so don't ruin the process!" Megumi scolded   
  
firmly, as she wrap his wrist with a new set of clean linen.  
  
"Yeah, yeah. Whatever." Sano shrugged, not wanting to argue  
  
with her, but somehow feeling a bit grateful for Megumi's sincerity, although   
  
not at all gentle.  
  
Another lapse of silence. Megumi creased her brow in thought, as   
  
she made a side glance on his blank face, but noticing the mixed emotions   
  
that was evident in his deep cinnamon eyes. She was a bit surprised with   
  
Sano's agreement, but left the subject hanging.  
  
She then reached out for his forehead, and instinctively, Sano was   
  
starting to reach to remove his red band when she stopped him by placing  
  
her hand over his.  
  
"No, let me." Megumi offered.  
  
Sano was a bit surprised, but he let the fox get her way. Megumi   
  
then gently traced the edges of the band, slightly touching Sano's exposed   
  
skin, slowly getting to the back of his head to untie the knot, nearing to his  
  
frame at the process. As she does this, their faces, side by side, were   
  
scantly inches away from each other. Sano can feel the warm feathery   
  
breath of Megumi down his cheeks to his neck, sending warm currents   
  
creeping up his spine, giving him much difficulty in controlling his breathing.   
  
/Damn it fox, will you hurry up untying that thing!!/ Sano prayed   
  
desperately.  
  
Megumi noticed Sano's tenseness as his jaws clenched in agitation.   
  
His nearness suddenly assailed her senses, slightly catching her breath.  
  
Megumi then pulled away, a bit abruptly, just in time before Sano   
  
loses his will to keep still. She placed his red band gently on Sano's lap,   
  
which he caught, then reached for his forehead and dislodged the bandage.   
  
She pushed his hair away as she applied a bit of ointment on the almost   
  
healed bruise, which gave Sano a start, feeling a slight burning sensation   
  
on his forehead.  
  
"This will be my last application of the ointment. The cut is already   
  
healing so I'm hoping you won't use your forehead for head banging."   
  
Megumi exclaimed in a serious tone.  
  
Sano grinned, letting out a chuckle deep in his chest. Megumi was  
  
a bit startled with his reaction, but was able to overcome her composure at   
  
the moment.  
  
"Well, it seems that you're health is getting better. There are no  
  
infections whatsoever in your bruises and you're not having any fever. So,   
  
why is it that you're feeling ill?" Megumi questioned while fixing some things   
  
on the table.   
  
"No, I'm not feeling ill. Jou-chan and the others just insisted that I   
  
was looking ill." Sano said casually, while flexing and unflexing his right hand.  
  
Then stood up and tied back his band around his head.  
  
"So?" Megumi prodded, watching his back on her.  
  
Sano let out a deep breath then slightly inclined his head towards   
  
her, "So nothing."   
  
He began leaving the room, Megumi just following behind. The   
  
others looked up from their position and saw the both of them with inquiring  
  
looks.  
  
"His wounds are quickly healing so there's nothing to worry about."   
  
Sano heard Megumi from behind as he nears the door, "but I'm afraid I can   
  
never cure his lovesickness, I told you that before haven't I?" Megumi   
  
ridiculed, looking at Sano mischievously.  
  
Sano suddenly stopped at the door, with his hands in his pockets,   
  
then said without turning around.  
  
"Why don't you try catching the fever, Megumi. And see what it   
  
feels like."   
  
Megumi was speechless, her red lips forming a perfect 'o', her   
  
eyes wide with complete surprise.  
  
Sano smiled, knowing her reaction without looking at her. Then   
  
he followed coolly, "Thanks for checking me up. Ja."   
  
After a slight raise of his right hand over his shoulder, he left.  
  
A very agonizing pause followed. Then the tension broke.  
  
"Hey, what's with him?" Yahiko asked incredulously, a very   
  
surprised look on his face. The two younger children were also looking   
  
askance, not knowing what the adults were discussing. Kaoru's downcast   
  
head had her hand covering her mouth, trying to stifle a laugh. And   
  
Kenshin, as usual, was displaying his innocent smile, but knowing deep   
  
inside what Sano was trying to imply.  
  
Again, the refined lady doctor was able to regain her composure  
  
for the second time. But unable to clear out the faint flush on her cheeks.   
  
She then mused to herself, thinking thoughts that were long hidden and   
  
firmly denied from others, as well as from herself,  
  
/Yes, maybe I'll have to take your word for it... roosterhead./  
  
**OWARI** 


End file.
